It’s been one week since I left the Light Tower. I now find myself very close to Earth. I’m renting a cabin in the Pocono woods with abundant deer and wild turkeys. There is a stream and I walk on gravel and damp leaves. I center my thoughts on Native American animal medicine. I know that deer is Gentleness and turkeys are Giving. But still, in spite of all this beauty, this change has brought uneasiness and fragility.
Michael Fullan, the master of change, says we should expect discomfort and a dip before the benefits of transformation settle in.
This morning, I forgot to put water into my espresso coffee pot. I sat at my computer until I smelled something burning. When I figured out what it was, I went to the stove, grabbed the pot and held it under cold water. I noticed the base was dark and stained from the fire and my stomach ached. I love my pot. I travel with it for warmth and familiarity. Now, I know I’m distracted and dipping. I had gone to sleep with Sadness and woke up with Regret and perhaps these lingering emotions had smothered my brain. A calm mind feels like wakefulness and plenitude.
I will meditate.
The sun has risen. The trees let in light marking the sharp angled walls of the teepee cabin like tie die webs and sponge blots. I drink a fresh cup of coffee and I’m feeling calm now. I look forward to a hot shower and I’m planning my day. I’m thinking about the paradox of organizing the future while living in the present, how the future is a clean slate but we are steeped in rich memories.
I think about posture and stance, a dancer poised and balanced, an artist standing in front of a blank canvas, a builder surveying the land.
I recall Antonio Blay’s chapter on positive attitude, which he calls a dynamic stance and I’m thinking about my old friend Chögyam Trungpa’s chapters on perkiness and horse wind.
I’m curious about the impact of our commitment to presence and how that translates into down to earth reality. How important is our posture when it comes to creating? How might circumstances change if we approach the future from a positive stance and a calm presence? What routines should I practice daily that will cultivate beauty, love, abundance and possibility?
When I see life and behavior as a continuous experiment,
When I sit and observe the mysterious forces that alter reality,
When I take the time to breathe, express gratitude and trust everything,