Creating Oasis

In the center of loud, bustling Madrid, I meditate on the meaning of oasis. I wonder how to find a peaceful spring in the middle of all this noise. I wonder if I’m capable enough to focus, to direct my antennae to receive whatever signal arises in the midst of so much change and static electricity.

There is a gut instinct to retreat.

I bought an expresso pot and discovered that with an induction stove top, the pot is heated by a magnetic field. There was curiosity at first about the materials I’d been given. Then, impatience when the pot didn’t brew correctly. My body yearned for a simple cup of coffee. My heart yearned for fire, pure and simple flames, the kind you can see. But nothing is simple now. Everything is new. I pause for a moment and feel silly. Then, I’m moved into a state of gratitude. I’m grateful for having any material at all and for having these kind of problems. Extravagant problems.

I’m in the center of the loud, bustling city of Madrid and I feel like an orphan child and the universe is providing me with a safe haven. I’m a child but when I look in the mirror I’m old. And I’m aware. I’m aware that I’m blessed and responsible. I know there are adult children orphans like me who are struggling, tired, thirsty. I don’t feel guilty. I feel curious about what I am here to do.

I move forward tinkering with my new coffee pot and magnetic field stove wondering about what it means to create an Oasis, a fertile space, a water spring in the middle of nowhere. Anywhere.

I lower the heat and wait. Gradually, the expresso streams out without a hitch. It’s delicious.

How Mind Works, How Love Works

My mind is empty and there is emptiness today. It’s one big void. I find pleasure in this emptiness because it’s rare and refreshing. Yet, I also feel sadness. Who am I and where am I going? So, I float wondering.

An empty mind is unusual. Often, the mind is filled up with words and images. That is the mind on the ordinary day. The world will stimulate the mind to keep working labeling everything. That’s how we try to make sense of things. This is the mind without meditation.

When the mind is filled with words and images life feels eventful and entertaining. It’s like having a movie on hand every day. It goes on by itself like an automatic tape. It can be a romance one day or a tragedy. I don’t like horror movies but sometimes the mind can be that terrifying. It can fill up with horrible words and ugly images and I’m afraid. Have you ever had the experience of being trapped in a horror movie? Most of us prefer a good sexy romance but even that can go astray when we fixate, doubt love or hallucinate.

Osho says that if you’re really in love then presence is felt and language is not. So when two lovers are in an intimate relationship, they become silent. He says when love is living, words are not because the very existence of love is so overwhelming, so penetrating, that the barrier is crossed, the barrier of language and words. Then he goes on to say that meditation is like that, it’s a love relationship with total existence, with all that surrounds you and when you are in this love situation, you are silent, the mind is still.

I have experienced love in this deep way with another human being, like a total penetration that goes beyond words and language. I’ve also felt something akin to this in meditation but its brief and there’s something different about it. I wonder if I will experience this overwhelming sense of love with existence more so over time.

I think maybe there’s a reason we focus our time and energy on love with other human beings. Maybe it’s because it seems to last longer. There’s also the possibility of love making and that’s a beautiful thing! Making love is the ultimate fusion. It’s profound depth, loving kindness and silence together penetrating the physical form. Maybe this is why we come to earth and reside in a human body to make love.

I’m not suggesting we don’t experience love in aloneness and meditation. I’m just thinking that perhaps we’re here precisely for the work of transmuting spiritual experience into the material world through our physical form, with less mind and fewer words.

When The Soul Moves

We tend to distrust these feelings and avoid them at all costs because we are scared of being uprooted. We need to lose this fear.

Pema Chödrön, Living Beautifully

Whenever I think of you my soul moves. Not just one, but very few of you and I’m open to more coming.

Perhaps you know what I mean? Your soul can move with your mate or it can move suddenly and out of place.

In my experience, when the soul moves it’s startling.

I’ve heard parents say the soul moves for a son or daughter. Twins who say their souls move in tandem.

However it appears, know it’s the soul moving inside you.

Focus on form rather than time or speed.

Focus on the now rather than eternity.

The soul conditions you to surrender to your hunger for food.

On a much larger scale, the soul opens your eyes to truth.

I have feared the soul, its ebb and its flow. The soul is mischievous and breeds in darkness.

The soul is a sublime piece of cake in a world where we count calories.

The soul can feel sneaky and disarming and I worry about gluttony.

It’s not wrong to pay attention to the movement of your soul because  you will want more.

Become aware and you’ll be alright.

Choose the soul and you’ll be satisfied.

But know this. When the soul moves, tears fall. The life of calories ends.

That is why we need soul stretching exercises. Learn how restlessness and uneasiness are stages of the journey.

We need to practice leaning in to the soul’s yearnings and loving unconditionally.

We need schools that teach a course on the workings of the soul so we can track its course and discover the treasure.