Tag: conscientious engagement

What is the point? From Self to Others

by Raquel Rios, posted in Uncategorized

“Our aim is to fully awaken our heart and mind, not just for our own well-being, but also to bring benefit, solace and wisdom to other living beings. What motivation could top that?”

Pema Chödrön

I woke up this morning thinking, “Why?” and “What is the point?” It is not new, this interrogation into the purpose of life.

The well known German-Austrian psychiatrist, Viktor Frankl, posits that meaning comes from three sources: 1) loving a person 2) purposeful work/ project 3) surviving adverse conditions with dignity. Each of these things seem to come from both within and outside oneself, similar to Pema Chödrön’s suggestion that we awaken the heart, for ourselves and to benefit others.

In the case of Frankl, the third source of meaning, surviving adverse conditions, appears the most self-serving. However, when we survive adversity with dignity, the implication is we are leaving a trace of light for others to see, the trace of how we survive, meaning how we live, in spite of suffering.

In the ten years since I’ve started my mindfulness meditation practice, I’ve observed how my practice can feel self-serving. It is a very intimate, personal and time consuming awakening journey. This feeling of concentrating on the Self has certainly been intensified in the last five years since the trauma of the sudden death of my husband and, shortly after, my brother’s prognosis of cancer and his painful death two years later. Because these two men were emotional pillars in my life and represented everything that has to do with a sense of family, belonging and security—it is no surprise that my mindfulness meditation practice became about healing. Dr. Sameet M. Kamur, author of Mindfulness for Prolonged Grief, points out that because grief fills up all the empty spaces you have in the day and continues late into the night, healing has to be a full time job.

Now, I review my journey and ask difficult questions of myself as a natural part of my coming back to my center… such as: What is the point? These days, I spend a good deal of time considering my life moving forward. What is the purpose of my being, how has it changed and is there something inspiring me to continue on with this journey? When you see the temporal nature of all things, and experience the random and radical nature of death and dying—it is normal to consider the purpose and impact of one singular life.

Singularity, as in meditation on a pillow, alone in the early hours of the morning.

Is this enough?

Singularity is a false perspective. We are not a singularity even when we meditate alone. That would be a very lonely perspective, and filled with limitation. Nirvana, is knowing the boundless infinite nature of our energy, the I am and That is why I am here. It is not asking why? anymore. It is the knowing that in the practice of living fully and with awareness, we allow the mystery of our experience to be and, we savor the signs of awakening that continue to unravel ongoing.

I am considering this metaphor when I think about “What is the point?”

I am a flower. I am unique and just being healthy in this soil is enough. I feel good and strong, not thinking my life is short and my petals are temporary. Every day, I add value to myself and the world by absorbing light, emitting oxygen into the air, and providing beauty. If I were a tree, I’d provide some shade and occasionally, I’d bear fruit.

What is my true nature and what is the fruit for humanity?

The inspiration of the spiritual teachers and writers, such as Pema Chödrön, is that they remind me that it takes time and dedicated attention to care for myself and in doing so, I show up for others in a way that is uniquely serving. I’m accepting in my practice that I can’t change the world in any other way than what I am doing right now… that I have been given, by design, a gift of this life, and that is enough, and more than enough, if it is anything like the love and beauty that I have been given by others.

It is in a flash and an instant that I am grateful for this fleeting and beautiful flower in my presence. I will take it, in spite of the petals slowly falling out, because otherwise, what is the point of now?

How Do We Return to Society?

by Raquel Rios, posted in Uncategorized

In Zen training we start with The Search for Ox, the Ox being our true nature.

With diligent practice over time, we move through stages that lead to an enlightened return. Examining the evolution of Zen training is essential when we think about how a commitment to mindfulness meditation can positively influence society and encourage students to keep going.

If you’re interested in a thoughtful overview of the stages of Zen training (with a good portion of the book dedicated to teaching meditation technique) I recommend Katsuki Sekida’s book, Zen Training: Methods and Philosophy. However, for the purpose of this reflection, I want to call your attention to the final three stages.

They are:

  • No Ox, No Man (A state of mind called, “nothing” or “the great death.” A thorough purification of consciousness, a vanishing of the ego and attachment to circumstances)
  • Returning to the Source (Going back to the start, the stage of the beginner but now with awakened consciousness. Seeing with new eyes and new hearing)
  • In Town with Helping Hands (Mingling with the world, caring of nothing other than the joy you bring to others. All antagonism is dissolved. Freedom, playfulness and positivity.)

I have found in my own practice and when listening to others on the path that it is natural to feel lost during periods of training, like when we experience The Great Death, or the Void.

According to Sekida, the stage No Ox, No Man is enlightenment when normal consciousness ceases. However, when there is a break in this state of mind (as it often occurs for most students) we are confronted with gnawing feelings of unease. We may ask ourselves: What do I do with this awareness? How will I ever integrate into normal society? Do I have to engage with society at all? What is the purpose?

When these questions arise, I have found it helpful to learn from teachers, many of whom contribute their experience and wisdom in literature. When a student is in a period of readiness, they are drawn to a teacher or a text… not by chance but as if the mere asking beckons a response. 

As we discover truth in literature, in the teachings, we can lean on this knowledge with expectation. We know more that if we keep moving forward, we can anticipate another change of being. This might feel like innocence and inspiration and later, much later— curiosity for being In Town with Helping Hands.

This notion that our practice, our calm, our bliss, a dedication to Self and resting in our true nature is ultimately leading us to a presence that brings joy to others is a very powerful knowing.

So, how do we progress from stage to stage?

Simply, it’s in your dedication to a daily practice, to sitting in meditation, to reading literature on the topic, talking and listening to teachers who demonstrate a commitment to the task, taking care of yourself and your instrument, that which is your body. It’s trusting your capacity to expand beyond what you can possibly imagine.

I realize there’s a certain surrender about this work but there is also foresight. There’s strength in this balance of knowing, learning and mystery. We are sitting at the intersection of life’s greatest koan, of effort and letting go.

As I progress from one stage to the next, I’m observing my life choices and how they are leading me to fulfill my purpose. I want to express courage and freedom, to help us see life’s beyond beyond. I want people to feel at home and loved and rested — especially those adults who have walked the road alone and there’s vulnerability and neediness.

That just feels beautiful and important to me.

Another Virus Weakens Solidarity

by Raquel Rios, posted in Uncategorized

The invasion of Ukraine by Putin is a virus that will injure and kill countless human beings and continue to debilitate our sense of agency and unity. This attack is particularly egregious because it comes on the heels of COVID which has weakened tolerance, trust and energy globally. It is incumbent on us to address feelings of powerlessness and find ways to cultivate individual and collective agency. We can’t let this act of aggression distract our resolve and work to bring in a kinder, gentler world that is balanced and in harmony with nature and inner peace.

While viruses are recognized as a natural part of our ecosystem, the transmission of illness and disease can also be attributed to human behavior and activities such as health and well-being, sanitation measures or polluting. Similarly, while an invasion of a country or war may be accepted as a ‘normal’ in world history, they can also be perceived as indicative of destructive patterns of thinking.

Our perspective matters. Perspective influences how we respond individually and collectively. If we think an illness or an invasion are natural or inevitable conditions of humanity rather than something we can prevent or control— we may not feel a sense of agency. We may not take responsibility.

Social media, technology and news reporting have made it difficult to assess what’s true and what’s happening in the outside world. Still, we are effected intimately. Information about the pandemic or events surrounding a war can appear both clear-cut and elusive depending on how it is presented, but still, we are effected intimately. Extreme contrasts lead to confusion, feelings of powerlessness and greater division in society because we distrust what we can not see, we retreat.

How can we gain perspective at a time when we are faced with global conflicts that are complex and appear life-threatening? How can we mitigate feelings of powerlessness and continue to exercise agency?

Consider these strategies that can help keep your mind clear and focused on what matters:

  1. Balanced Technology
  2. Micro-Macro Thinking
  3. Seek Connection Novelty

Balanced Technology: Turn off your devices for a significant amount of time daily. This is not to say bury your head in the sand. Circumstances require you keep your eyes and ears open and that you read, however, information overload neutralizes sensitivity and our ability to discern the truth and the best response to a happening. Think about going into a perfume stop and trying on several fragrances one right after the other. Eventually, you can’t distinguish between scents. This is the same with information. Turn off your devices and replace moments with deliberate silent activities. Sit in meditation. Go for a long walk. No talking. Disconnect entirely from information bytes and input.

Micro-Macro Thinking: Make connections between what’s happening in your personal life to what’s happening in the world. This requires introspection. Pay attention to the fine details of your daily life and become aware of how you absorb and process your present experience. Then, slowly observe how similar patterns of thought and behavior appear reflected in situations in society. Ask: How does my personal experience (micro) show up in the collective space (macro)? What can I learn about these similarities?

Seek Connection Novelty: Do something new or spontaneous that involves another person. Connecting with a person (a friend, acquaintance, colleague), especially if they come from outside your ‘main’ circle– can be reaffirming that cultivating soft, kind and empathetic relationships matter. Often, when we’re bombarded with negative news, information overload or grappling with the stress of ongoing, confusing global events that make us feel pitted against each other and vulnerable–we stick in a closed circle, we shut down, we become repressed or defensive, we isolate and forget how to connect with others that may be different than ourselves. We need to practice simplicity and fearlessness with other people from all backgrounds. The novel experience can be as simple as getting together and telling an awkward truth, taking an unexplored route together, attending an event or simply breaking bread.