Nature is THE perpetual and changing pattern of life. Aloneness and seeing oneself as part of the world through nature.
In the morning, I awake. There is an awareness of an inner world that is partially left on my pillow. I sit and feel the sun rise. The light creeps into existence, changing the dark hues of the sky. Rays slowly pour over me like a shower, penetrating my window as if there is no separation. I sit in meditation and I am filled with this light and it is a blessing. There is gratitude and a warm welcome for me in this moment. My mind settles on this and I am home.
In the evening, I go to the sunset. I greet it with a glass of wine or a cup of tea. I sit and watch the sun descend into the horizon and I am crying. Sometimes, there’s a moon close by tiptoeing in. I think this sun and this sky are always there and yet, there is constant movement. As the sun descends and touches the horizon, it goes fast, my heart quickens and I get sad. It is gone in the blink of an eye and I say goodbye. I say goodbye to the day. I say goodbye to my husband and the me of yesterday. The sun sets and it is a reminder that there is always a beginning and an end and that is simply the nature of everything.
I am in love with the sun. The sun is filled with intimate moments. I am learning through my attention to nature to be comfortable with the cycles of light and darkness. I am learning to see fine detail. I am learning to appreciate the beauty in the passing and changing of color. It is a spectacle of color, of light, each second, each moment. This vast and mysterious experience of sky and sun have become home to me. I am seeing out and it is seeing me. We are communicating.
Impermanence and timelessness are hard concepts to integrate and accept. And yet, they are the pathways to love and trust. Knowing nature, allowing nature in, seeing things the way they really are… the beginnings and the ends, the changing color patterns of the sky— but knowing there is always sky, always sun and moon moving in, each second impermanent but constant.
Sometimes there are birds flying and clouds. New friends.