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Anchor on the Days of Nothing

Darkness. Light. Shadows. Contour. I close my eyes. I open them and repeat. It’s the setting sun and the break of dawn inside me. This is my anchor on the days of nothing.

There is war and there is peace. There’s surrender and agency. The terrain feels tough and grainy. I am swept away by despair and agony. Am I the root, the tree or the leaf?

What do I need to stay at the center of things?

I sit out the sand storm wanting. I learn how wanting can be free. Things happen so quickly. Is it the sensation or the thing?

Darkness. Grief. Light. Birthing. I lose my identity and I’m free. It’s unbearable this lightness of being. So, I grope and find myself a root. I am the root. I am the tree. I am the leaf.

This is my anchor on the days of nothing.

Dear Ukraine

My heart bursts in flames for your suffering. It’s impossible for those of you on the front lines of war to see how the world is recoiled in pain. We cry even while we recognize that your suffering is greatest of all. Ukraine is a vital organ in our body and the injury is burning. Please forgive me for I’m not running from my home or watching my brothers and sisters die on the street, but can you possibly believe that you are not alone, that we are here with you languishing?

We are here ! bearing witness ! watching live streams and hearing things. We’re living this terror again and again and it caves into our heart; the fumes of separating families. What great sadness is now! How much more can we take? This steady barrage of fear, death, dominance and economic instability. Is this what we have to show for our collective humanity? How can we pay attention to love and empathy when we are down on our knees? How can we even think to find meaning in this suffering? How should I act or think?

Dear, Dear Ukraine! I am so sorry for your pain and grief. Please know you are not alone. Please know we are asking the same things, like: where are the hundreds and millions of troops protecting families? We, the ones with simple and ordinary lives, the people like me and you want to know: when will this suffering end? Will we ever feel safe at home again?

I am sad and ashamed that yet again another million people are displaced. I feel helpless while praying, sitting still in the quiet light of grace. I beg you for forgiveness, that this is all I have to say… Please know, Dear Ukraine. Please know that so many of us are here, with you, knowing full well what its like to lose home, to watch a beloved disappear or walk away forcefully. Please know, that your suffering is our suffering and that this war is a global wound, being torn open again and again.

I am nobody, I know. But, I’m sitting here…every day… with you in my thoughts, in the light of grace and I just need to tell you that I’m suffering with you ! and I will not rest until you find home again.

Another Virus Weakens Solidarity

The invasion of Ukraine by Putin is a virus that will injure and kill countless human beings and continue to debilitate our sense of agency and unity. This attack is particularly egregious because it comes on the heels of COVID which has weakened tolerance, trust and energy globally. It is incumbent on us to address feelings of powerlessness and find ways to cultivate individual and collective agency. We can’t let this act of aggression distract our resolve and work to bring in a kinder, gentler world that is balanced and in harmony with nature and inner peace.

While viruses are recognized as a natural part of our ecosystem, the transmission of illness and disease can also be attributed to human behavior and activities such as health and well-being, sanitation measures or polluting. Similarly, while an invasion of a country or war may be accepted as a ‘normal’ in world history, they can also be perceived as indicative of destructive patterns of thinking.

Our perspective matters. Perspective influences how we respond individually and collectively. If we think an illness or an invasion are natural or inevitable conditions of humanity rather than something we can prevent or control— we may not feel a sense of agency. We may not take responsibility.

Social media, technology and news reporting have made it difficult to assess what’s true and what’s happening in the outside world. Still, we are effected intimately. Information about the pandemic or events surrounding a war can appear both clear-cut and elusive depending on how it is presented, but still, we are effected intimately. Extreme contrasts lead to confusion, feelings of powerlessness and greater division in society because we distrust what we can not see, we retreat.

How can we gain perspective at a time when we are faced with global conflicts that are complex and appear life-threatening? How can we mitigate feelings of powerlessness and continue to exercise agency?

Consider these strategies that can help keep your mind clear and focused on what matters:

  1. Balanced Technology
  2. Micro-Macro Thinking
  3. Seek Connection Novelty

Balanced Technology: Turn off your devices for a significant amount of time daily. This is not to say bury your head in the sand. Circumstances require you keep your eyes and ears open and that you read, however, information overload neutralizes sensitivity and our ability to discern the truth and the best response to a happening. Think about going into a perfume stop and trying on several fragrances one right after the other. Eventually, you can’t distinguish between scents. This is the same with information. Turn off your devices and replace moments with deliberate silent activities. Sit in meditation. Go for a long walk. No talking. Disconnect entirely from information bytes and input.

Micro-Macro Thinking: Make connections between what’s happening in your personal life to what’s happening in the world. This requires introspection. Pay attention to the fine details of your daily life and become aware of how you absorb and process your present experience. Then, slowly observe how similar patterns of thought and behavior appear reflected in situations in society. Ask: How does my personal experience (micro) show up in the collective space (macro)? What can I learn about these similarities?

Seek Connection Novelty: Do something new or spontaneous that involves another person. Connecting with a person (a friend, acquaintance, colleague), especially if they come from outside your ‘main’ circle– can be reaffirming that cultivating soft, kind and empathetic relationships matter. Often, when we’re bombarded with negative news, information overload or grappling with the stress of ongoing, confusing global events that make us feel pitted against each other and vulnerable–we stick in a closed circle, we shut down, we become repressed or defensive, we isolate and forget how to connect with others that may be different than ourselves. We need to practice simplicity and fearlessness with other people from all backgrounds. The novel experience can be as simple as getting together and telling an awkward truth, taking an unexplored route together, attending an event or simply breaking bread.